Friday, June 21, 2024
With Father’s Day upon us, we often remember our fathers with love and affection. Something that is often over-looked is that there are over seven million single-father households in the United States. Single parenting, especially with fathers, is sometimes viewed as “carrying the load alone” and that fathers face the very same challenges that single mothers face as well. With this said, single fathers should be honored for their efforts and should be recognized on Father’s Day just as single mothers are recognized on Mother’s Day.
One such single father, Greg Casey, age 52, moved to Gatesville with his parents at the age of five. After graduating from Gatesville High School, he would later marry the love of his life, Carrie Lynn Hill, while both were employed at Central Freight in Waco. They were married in April of 2001 in Gatesville. Later, they would become the parents of two sons, Seth and Kyle.
After nearly ten years of marriage, tragedy struck in 2010 when Carrie died of cancer at the age of 33, and Greg was left with his two young sons ages eight and three.
Casey reflects, “I went from being a golfing, hunting, fishing Dad to laundry, cooking, cleaning, off to school, have you done your homework, what am I missing Dad. I had no idea how much Carrie did behind the scenes, and I felt stupid for not helping more.”
Looking back, Casey thinks about what he tried to instill in his sons during their formative years. “I tried to teach them about the importance of family and how precious a gift it is. I wanted to show them what I expected by example – honesty, integrity, kindness, and a life of service to God and those around us. To always err on the side of grace, but don’t be a push-over and get taken advantage of by those who don’t share your values.”
Being a single parent can always present challenges. Casey said, “The greatest challenge that I faced being a single father is knowing the difference between being their friend and their dad. It’s just the three of us, and sometimes the lines blur, but you need a parent (not a helicopter pilot) more than another friend.”
“I think in today’s society, parents are so busy trying to remain young and in touch with their children that they forget to transition into adults, and when the kids grow up, they have nothing to reference for their own growth,” he said.
Reflecting on his own childhood, Casey said, “My Dad was at every event we had – sports, church, band, school, etc. He always made sure not to miss anything if possible. I have tried to be the same way with my boys. I want them to know that I am always there for special things, but I stay out of the way so not to take attention away from them or feel like I was intruding too much in their life experience.”
When asked about any advice he could give to single fathers today, Casey said, “My advice is to stay focused on what is important – your kids. You will have plenty of time for personal things when they have left the nest. Be patient, don’t blow-up at every little thing – not everything is a catastrophe.”
“It’s funny when you feel like you have done nothing right, and someone will come up and tell you what a great kid you have, and that they are so nice and respectful. I always double check to see if they have the right one.”
In closing, Casey offered one piece of sage wisdom: “Being a single Dad is hard. You must be strong as a man, but still demonstrate love and kindness that their Mom would have shown. Teach them how family life is supposed to look, so that when they start families of their own, they will know how it is supposed to be.”
