Wednesday, June 26, 2024
The dictionary defines shame as a painful feeling of humiliation caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. While shame is commonly thought of as a negative emotion, its existence plays a big part in our survival as a species. In the absence of shame, there would not be a need to adhere to cultural norms nor follow the law in such a way that allows us to exist as a society.
All humans wish to be accepted and shame is one of the tools that keeps us in line.
When we feel shame it’s often because we perceive ourselves as flawed or unworthy in the eyes of others. Shame can serve as a powerful motivator for self-improvement and adherence to societal standards. The critic inside your head tells you that you are a bad person, wrong, worthless, or of little value. Most human beings wish to avoid those feelings, and thus the threat of shame causes them to behave within societal norms.
Shame can teach us boundaries. Without shame we would have no way to understand how our behavior affects others and how to manage it. At its very core, shame is about wanting to belong to a group and to be accepted as a good person inside the community.
As small children in school, we were all taught the norm was to not pick your nose. It is how our teachers and parents instructed us to act. But a part of the reason why we participated in the norm was the shame to be experienced if your fellow classmates learned you had broken the rule; to be judged, set apart for our actions, and to be excluded from the group. Those are all part of the reasons why we did not pick our nose.
Unfortunately, in our contemporary society, the concept of shame seems to have been thrown out the window. The usual standards of conduct, the social norms which have guided our existence for generations have seemingly been discarded. In the new order, behavioral standards are very vague and constantly evolving and the evolution is not toward right or wrong, but rather how an action serves to benefit the doer; how actions affect others seems rather immaterial.
Shame comes from perceived future consequences. Unfortunately, in our American politics, we have apparently evolved to a point where there seems to be no consequence for lying or intentionally misleading the voting public. Because there are no consequences for the misdeed, the behavior continues. In the absence of shame, bad behavior often fosters even more and greater misdeeds.
Today’s politicians do not fear reproach by the masses, and in fact, they are finding if they go outside the norms of civility the more likely their behavior will be rewarded with additional contributions and votes. Running for office is no longer about having a platform of ideas that will benefit society or a recipe for positive change, but rather it is about how to appeal and feed into the fears and doubts of a troubled world. This is why our politicians rudely interrupt the State of the Union address, can make blatant misrepresentation of the truth, or make allegations without facts or supporting evidence. On the rare occasions where they are challenged, they merely dismiss the inquiry as being “politically motivated,” “fake news,” or simply not worthy of a response. There is no consequence from society. Our world was not always this way. There once was a time when a politician breached who the norm in their conduct lost all consideration from the public. We have changed, and I fear it’s not for the good.
The only way politicians are going to start telling the truth, and to meaningfully address issues that are facing our society, is for there to be consequences when they fail to do so. We must make it clear we will not accept when they fail to work with others to solve problems, when they lie and change rules for a selfish purpose, and when control and power mean more than right and wrong. If terms like truth, evidence, and right and wrong no longer matter, we will no longer have a society.
My grandfather would say “something might not be illegal, but if it’s just flat out wrong, that makes it worse”.
It is up to the electorate to determine which type of person they want to vote for. This problem is not a party issue. It is not a candidate issue. The problem is a societal issue in that we have allowed standards of conduct, ethics, and the “right thing” to be set aside for immediate gratification, or short-term political goals. So many voters are in “tribes”, and they have placed all their faith in the party rather than what is truth, what is justice, and what was once the American way.
Shame on all of us because, without a sense of shame, we are destined for a world with no standards at all.
Thought for the day: “Whatever begins in anger, ends in shame.” — Benjamin Franklin
Until next time…I will keep ridin’ the storm out!
